Top Ten Peeves

Top Ten Most Annoying Things

On my way to work this morning, I was thinking about all the things that annoy me. I decided to make a list:


   1. People: Lets face it, most of the things that bother us – coworkers, road rage, exes, reality television, celebrity media coverage, politicians, and the DMV – can all be boiled down to the people involved. I think it’s perfectly fair to make a general statement that people suck. If the world didn’t have people, we could also conveniently do away with Advil.

   2. The Earth: She’s always bitching and moaning like a bad first date. She's getting dirty, she's getting hot... wait, that sounds like a good first date. Anyway, she blames us for it. Even Earth agrees with me on item 1 - too many people. As a result, she’s always spewing hot ash into the air or throwing tornadoes across our trailer parks. She makes it rain on our weekends and taunts us with nice weather while we’re at work. She hates us. I have two words for her... stop whinging! (I love that word.)

   3. Space: C’mon, infinite? Really? How am I supposed to wrap my mind around that!? It just depresses me to no end. And the fact that it’s just a great big, empty, black, vacuumy void – well, that sucks by definition.

   4. ….. Hmmm…. I guess I didn’t need ten. The first three pretty much sum it up. Yeah, the things that really annoy me are People, the Earth, and Space. That’s about it.

   5. Oh, and Gnats. I almost forgot about them. They’re annoying when they’re buzzing around you, and they’re annoying to spell.

So, People, the Earth, Space, and Gnats. We could do without.

Any others you might recommend?